if only it were that easy.
A whore has been involved in my life for quite a long time. This whore consumes my money, takes up my time, and reduces my motivation to do any work. This whore tires me out. Yes, this whore I’m talking about has a physical existence; and its name is Eczema.
This note has been influenced by a facebook group discussion I recently joined with a discussion thread deemed “Ways Eczema is a big Whore”. You can say I jacked the topic title, but this is my personal experience. As a warning, this note is potentially depressing; however, I feel that my obvious depressed, angry, anti-social, bitchy behavior should justified. This is my rant.
I’m surprised to how much people do not know what eczema is. Since it’s been part of me my whole life; I sorta assume everyone shall know about it. Well… eczema is a non-curable skin condition that has severe psychological and physical effects. It’s very dry skin coupled with sever itchiness, rashes, and infection. It can be hereditary, evoked by allergies, or sensitivity to the sun. It’s common in childhood by red, rough rashes behind the knees and elbows. In severe cases, it can take over the whole body. I have had eczema since I was a kid; but the severe case of eczema broke out since April 2007 and continued since then… (I’m actually quite lucky, I’m sure there are other people that have it much worse). I’m still in the healing process and have improved, but there were some notably terrible times…
- It’s itchy. It’s seriously itchy. It’s so itchy that I have trouble sleeping. I have a record of staying up for seven hours in my bed trying to go to sleep. My sleeping schedule and internal clock have been royally screwed. I have even driven myself to wear gloves for the night, wrap myself in saran wrap, or even to tie my hands to the bed.
- Mornings are awful. Moisture is taken away from me from simply being under a blanket. You wake up dry and with each movement, you feel the tightness of your skin. It’s painful.
- Pain. I cycle in-and-out of pain daily or weekly. With itchyness, you scratch your skin, and your skin is so sensitive that you bleed very easily. It’s not rare for someone diagnosed with eczema to have multiple open wounds on their body. These wounds open and close each time you’re in motion. It’s painful to walk, it’s extremely painful to move.
- I wake up to blood stains on my blankets and linens. Sometimes on my clothes.
- It’s extremely annoying when people complain about a single scratch on their skin. Imagine having multiple unattended scratches.
- I’m always bleeding.
- But scratching is so satisfying! Scratching literally takes up minutes upon minutes of my day. I don’t get any work done.
- It’s incredibly annoying to have girls with radiant and beautiful skin to complain about some non-existent blemish. Makes me feel like an ogre.
- Since eczema is extremely dry skin. I’m constantly using moisturizer on my WHOLE body. It’s an uncomfortable feeling. I have went through bottles upon bottles of moisturizer in a few weeks time. I have tried almost everything on the market.
- When you moisturize, you lubricate your skin. Because of this, you cannot put band-aids on (they will not adhere). You’ll have to rely on antibiotics at least 2x a day.
- Staph (bacterial) infections are common because you have multiple unattended cuts/scratches/open wounds. They come off as yellow crusts surrounding your cuts/scratches
- My bed is the optimal environment for dust mites, which are common allergens. Dust mites like moist areas (your moisturized body, bed) and feed on dead skin. I’m constantly vacuuming and changing bed linens. I leave a pile of myself everyday on my bed.
- I’m afraid to go into any sort of romantic relationship. I can’t stand touching my own skin, I’m horrified to think of how other people would feel or think. Things also cycle, so I’ll look extremely horrible at some days, I don’t want people to see that.
- I went through the most depressing period of my life. Severe depression. Not wanting anything in life except death.
- It’s embarrassing to go out in public and sit down. You leave your dead skin around the chairs, tables, your jacket, other people’s jackets…
Someone requested my background so here it is. (I think I’ve posted it before but I have no idea where it is, so here it is again?)